The theme of this week’s lecture is about Developing Others. It focuses on practical approaches to help others grow: distinguishing coaching, mentoring, and counselling; applying the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, Will); and choosing when to use directive versus non‑directive support to build capability and psychological safety. If you are new, this is a continuation of the IT2900 Weekly Reflection series where I share my responses to the weekly assignments of this course.

The previous week’s blog post was titled “Do More for Yourself and What Matters” You can take a look if you later find this article interesting.

Personal Takeaways

During the lecture, one of the most insightful takeaways for me was the difference between coaching, mentoring, and consulting. Additionally, during the tutorial, I had the chance to explore the differences between them and counselling. Before learning about the GROW model (Goal, Reality, Options, and Will), the definition of directive and non-directive support wasn’t very clear to me. That said, I learned that coaching is more about non-directive support: we want the person being coached to find the answers to their own questions. On the other hand, mentoring involves providing more direction to the person, and sometimes even giving them the answers directly.

I agree with Raunak’s point that these methods exist on a spectrum in terms of how directive they are, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution; everything depends on context. For me, I now see coaching as a way of guiding a person to discover answers for themselves, not just to the questions they may have. Usually, it is also about developing others’ self-awareness. In applying the GROW model, we typically ask questions that help the person discover more about themselves. We cannot change their reality, but we can non-leadingly encourage them to evaluate their inner voice, which helps them make the best decisions for themselves. I also think this principle applies to self-development as well: if we challenge ourselves with such questions, we may end up discovering or understanding more about ourselves.

To apply this principle in practice, I would consider using a coaching approach whenever someone approaches me for help. I remember raising a point during one of the tutorials about not liking when people simply say what they would do, as that lacks perspective-taking (I think this concept is related). It is important for a coach to have empathy in deciding which questions to ask. I would also aim to ask more open-ended questions, since upon reflection, I tend to ask yes-no questions, which might not encourage deep reflection in the person I’m helping.

Looking ahead, I would apply a mentoring approach when leading a project or working in a team where members’ levels of expertise are relatively similar. In such cases, I can directly share what is right or wrong and receive feedback in return. Both of which help in developing others while developing myself. In a short-term, fast-paced environment, mentoring is often the way to go. However, coaching is more suitable for long-term development, where the focus is on investing effort to develop individuals within the team. Usually, there should be a mix of both approaches, applied concurrently depending on the context.

Giving a Feedback

Hi Chris, I hope you are doing well. I have seen that you are conducting many coaching sessions and have applied several lessons I taught in our previous meetings. Regarding your most recent coaching session with Adam, I noticed that you did a great job asking questions about his background and recent events in his life, which is great since this corresponds to the letter R (Reality) in the GROW model. However, I also noticed some areas for improvement to help you become an even better coach.

Although you have met Adam before, it would still be beneficial to let him answer some basic questions fully at the beginning. From the recording you sent, we can see that he had not finished his sentence completely before you proceeded to the next question. Allowing a person to talk more about themselves is a great way to break the ice and make them feel more psychologically safe. It can also help them reflect further, which serves as a warm-up for answering later questions more thoughtfully.

Secondly, one key element of effective coaching is to avoid making assumptions and to let people find answers to their own questions. When Adam was about to share his concern about delegation practices, you paused him and directly provided methods, which does not align with the framework. As a result, he might not have been able to take away much or discover the solution that suited him best. Since you were the one speaking more, the person you were coaching had less opportunity to think and reflect.

Lastly, I think you did not demonstrate enough empathy when speaking with Adam, particularly when you picked up a phone call while he was still talking. I suggest either pausing him first to finish the call or taking the call later. Showing that you are actively listening will make the other person feel more engaged and heard. They will likely share more useful information that can help you coach them better.

Overall, I see that you are improving as a coach, and I look forward to seeing more of your high-quality work in the future.