The theme of this week’s lecture is about Emotionally Intelligent Leaders. Beyond strategy and technical skills, great leadership also requires the ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions, both our own and those of others. Emotional intelligence shapes how leaders connect with their teams, build trust, and create an environment where people feel valued. Reflecting on this theme made me realize how much impact empathy and self-awareness have on the quality of leadership. If you are new, this is a continuation of the IT2900 Weekly Reflection series, where I share my responses to the weekly assignments for this course.

The previous week’s blog post was titled “SCARF Model: Leading with Positive Impact.” You can take a look if you later find this article interesting.

Personal Takeaways

To start with this week’s reflection, I would say that my biggest takeaway is about how people perceive emotions differently within the same situation. This observation was raised during the “what is your most/least common emotion” activity as well as the tutorial. We were asked to share what situations make us feel those emotions. Interestingly, I found that when I feel anger, some people actually feel fear, sadness, or even joy.

It is important to understand that people value different things, which also affects the way they perceive emotions. When working with the team, a leader shouldn’t treat everyone the same way. One person’s feet won’t fit into another’s shoes. Each member needs guidance and support that’s tailored to them. That’s how you keep the team’s well-being strong and get the best work out of them.

Reaction Cycle (Original)

In this question, we were asked to construct a reaction cycle based on a situation we shared last week. For clarification, the reaction cycle is based on three steps: setup, interpretation, and escalation. Each step has three components: thoughts, feelings, and actions. It works in a cycle and can potentially escalate if not managed well.

In my previous response, I shared that I once worked in a team where my direct leader was fearful of judgement and rejection and constantly sought approval. For context, there was a higher-ranking leader who oversaw the project. My direct leader always prevented the team from dropping his name because he worried that the higher-up might dislike his ideas (and dislike him as well).

Clearly, he focused too much on performance rather than learning, and he showed signs of “resistance to feedback”, which suggested insecurity. Here is my proposed reaction cycle based on this situation:

	Set-up	Interpretation	Escalation
Thoughts	I worry about being judged by higher-ups and want to protect my image.	I feel my team may not fully understand my decisions or intentions.	I focus on my own performance rather than learning from feedback.
Feelings	I feel anxious and fearful of criticism.	I feel insecure and defensive when my ideas are challenged.	I feel stressed and sometimes frustrated with the team’s reactions.
Actions	I avoid letting the team mention my opinions to higher-ups.	I limit feedback and guard my ideas.	I take credit for wins and let the team handle negative outcomes.

Reaction Cycle (Revised)

In this question, we were asked to construct a revised reaction cycle based on the same situation, but this time, we need to apply emotional intelligence to manage it better. This builds on the alternative methods I suggested in last week’s discussion.

Here is the recap of what I shared:

“In this specific situation, I think the fact that my ideas were rejected is not the main concern, since they are relatively impractical anyways after looking back. However, the important thing is about how he behaves as a leader, takes wins instead of the team, and lets the team take negativity when it happens. The correct approaches for the leader include taking responsibility for what he did, seeking feedback, and growing together as a team. Doing it this way would create a positive working environment that drives a better outcome and happiness.”

Here is my proposed revised reaction cycle based on this situation:

	Set-up	Interpretation	Escalation
Thoughts	I don’t worry as much about being judged by higher-ups. I notice my fear of judgment but remind myself that the team’s ideas can help the project.	I still notice my insecurity when ideas are challenged, but I recognize it as an opportunity to learn and improve.	I realize I can shift focus from my own performance to shared responsibility and team growth.
Feelings	I feel cautious but also curious about what the team can contribute.	I feel more open and less defensive, understanding that feedback is a chance to grow.	I feel calm, responsible, and motivated to maintain a positive environment.
Actions	I allow the team to mention my perspectives to higher-ups safely and encourage contributions.	I actively seek feedback, acknowledge mistakes, and show willingness to learn.	I share credit for successes, take responsibility for failures, and support the team’s development.